I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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