So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
