No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
