I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize