I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
