What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
