Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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