i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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