i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm passing your future prison.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
