i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
the raccoons are back...
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