He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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