I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
