I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
