I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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