Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
