I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
