My friends, they love my intelligence
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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