their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
