Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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