I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize