My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
