You just made me feel so damn special
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
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she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
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I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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