While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize