Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
