Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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