Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
