You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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