you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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