The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
