I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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