first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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