Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
