Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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