we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I AM VODKA MAN
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
