Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
