The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
