We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
