Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
