i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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