I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
