It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
