I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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