listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
