Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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