There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
