First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
