omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize