fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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