What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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