Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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