I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
