so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you win again, gameday.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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