Need sex. Gaining weight.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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