yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
