one might say we're banned from that church
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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