This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
