I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
