Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
