I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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