My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize